Some of my Old Poems- Manoshi

My Best Friend

Awaken from dreams
Woven in golden thread
With silver bells twinkling
Wrapped in velvet
With a touch of a wand
Disappears the magic
The sand slips through
My clenched tight fist
I watch amazed
My old friend childhood
Passed by me waving...


The beautiful moments float
My youth smiled at me
Today from far away
I am walking slowly
On the path created yesterday
I am not alone
I will never be
I have a friend
Who won't leave me.

I speak to him
In my distress, in agony
He doesn't let me down
He guides my way
The world left me alone
Time flew away
My best friend lives with me
It's in me, my Self always.

November 13, 2005

Someone told me Today

I know today
I am not perfect
The golden illusion
Disappeared but
A ray of light
Reached me today
To show the right path
And I know now
I am not supreme
I can be defeated
The path showed me
There are pits on the way
But falling gives a hope
you will rise one day
When I fell I knew
There is someone to see
That I get up to walk
There is someone to
Give me the hope
And I know now
I am not supreme
I am not perfect
But I am me

Someone told me today...

August 2004

My Search

I wanted it for long
I wanted it to happen
I see it happening
And I cry with joy

How is life so beautiful
As beautiful it was
But I wander in search
Of beauty again

I would like to have it all
I look for the pearl
In the vast ocean of pearls
I have it, but I don't

Do I have it? Or I don't?
I don't have that silk thread
Or the pin I yearn for so long
My never ending search

I am still looking for...

May 29 ,2005

HAPPINESS

Tears come rolling down
Remembering those beautiful days
I knew somewhere deep down
It wasn't true anyway

I never though believed myself
Now with my shattered faith
Deep within when I delve
I see nothing but only pain

Those moments will not come back
It was a pure illusion
A mirage I thought to be real
In my state of delusion

That strong mind of mine
Is not strong anymore
Lesson that pain has taught
Every part of my being is sore

Still I cannot give up though
My strength to fight the truth
Why is reality so harsh
So hard to accept, so crude

Why was it so beautiful
Why it all seemed that way
All wrapped up in velvet
Reality cannot change, they say

Accepting the harsh truth
Though is not an easy game
However hard it must be
Time changes when nothing's the same

So why to cry why to yell
I look within myself to see
The happiness is right here
It's me who has got the key.

February 27 ,2005


CLOUDS

The dark clouds
That pass by
I wonder sometimes
How fast they fly?

A bright sunshine
Suddenly they cover
And in minutes
The darkness is over

Sometimes they give
The feeling of a chill
And without pouring
They go on their will

Sometimes they pour

And after they go
The beautiful sunshine
People enjoy more

Sorrow is like clouds
The darkness it brings
Doesn't stay for long
It flies away on wings

To enjoy the beauty
Of our beautiful life
One has to go through
The suffering of life

That's how one becomes
More pure, more true
That's the test of life
One has to go through.

July 11 ,2004

You Live On...

You live on...


One night you are left alone

Like a stranger, on your own

You know well how  true it is

But you don't want to believe

Love dies, yet hope survives
.

And you live on... 


The lovely dreams do not dance  

Anymore in your eyes 

Every moment in the past

Happiness slowly dies

Hopes leave, yet life survives

And you live on...

--Manoshi

With You

Sitting in the dark
Alone
I felt you
You were not close
Nor far
I smelled you
I touched you
I laughed
I cried
I wiped the hot burning tears
I hugged myself
I felt better
And passed another night
Without you
With you

--Manoshi

To be in Love

On Valentine's Day

.

A silver beam of moon light
Pierces through my heart
The twinkling stars send me
Millions of little sparks

Happiness dancing on toes
And sometimes the pearls of tears
I have been collecting
These priceless gifts for years


I bathe myself
In that light divine
My inner being screams
With joy and I shine


The world today seems
How so beautiful I wonder
I never noticed the beauty
How does life bewilder


How wonderful is, I realize
To be in Love
I found it after all
The priceless treasure trove


--Manoshi

Rishte (relationships)

I met him online. It was 4 years back. He had joined one of the online poetry groups where I was the moderator and he was a good poet. So when he contacted me online to chat personally, I was not too much worried. I kind of knew him through his emails and his poetry. I started talking to him assuming he must be younger to me. He always added 'ji' (a word of respect) with my name. We chatted for a few days when one fine day I found out that he was actually quite older than me. So now I started adding 'da' with his name (a word of respect for elder brother) and he started calling me 'tum' (a word used to address someone younger). That is how it all started. He lived in the States and he would call me often. I started talking to his wife calling her 'bhabhi' (sister in law) and they would talk to my husband once in a while too. Time passed by and one fine day he said, " I might visit your place". He was visiting Buffalo for a poetry seminar. I invited him for lunch and he drove all the way from Buffalo to see us. Next, when we visited the States, we stayed at their place. His children called me ' bua' (aunt). And now we are almost a family. I ask for any help I need any time, and he is there. He is not my real brother but he is. Bhabhi is not my real bhabhi but she is. Last week went very fast. They were with us this week. They left yesterday. It was like my family coming and spending time with us from India. I wonder sometimes, how relationships are formed and how beautiful they can be at times. I love you 'da and Bhabhi.

रिश्ते बन जाते हैं
अनजाने ही कभी कभी
बिना सुलझाये कोई कठिन गुत्थी
सरल से सुंदररिश्ते बन जाते हैं

दूरी की सीमा बाँधते बाँधते
अपने आप कभी
खुल जाती है एक गिरह
और बंध जाता है रिश्ता
कभी उस बंधन से बँधे
कई और सिरे
खिंच जाते हैं
अनायास ही
इस बंधे डोर की ओर
फिर बन जाते हैं कई और
सरल से सुंदर
कच्चे-पक्के रिश्ते
अनजाने ही कभी कभी
बिना सुलझाये कोई कठिन गुत्थी
रिश्ते बन जाते हैं...

Live Now...

Never complete
Always looking for
A choice, the best
To fulfill the unfulfilled
Never true
Always in a world of illusion
Wearing a mask.
Try once
Stand naked
Bare without make up
And you know yourself
In this vast world
Totality is nothing
But completeness
A destination
Which you don't go after,
A period after any dream.
Don't dream and that is
The destination
Live now...
Now or never,
Feel now, fulfill now
Or never, ever

Editors' Choice Award- To be in Love

Another letter arrived yesterday..."We are delighted to inform you that your poem has been awarded the prestigious Editor's Choice Award..." hmm...I have been receiving these letters through emails and mails for last 3 months. My email box gets filled with these emails everyday with praise and some kind of award. Oh well, I am not a great poet...it is just that I had submitted one of my poems to the 'abcdy.com' (...let this be anonymous). So after a few days I start getting emails about the selection of my poem, about getting its selected, its scope of being read at some international poetry function and so on almost everyday. Each email at the end has something to do with my paying them to publish it, or record it or frame it or...Wow! what beautiful ideas they have...so now I have stopped wondering howcome no one ever recognized my talent before. Well, I ignored all these emails and yesterday finally I got the letter about the poem being given the Editor's Choice Award. So now I can pay them again to get this certificate typeset and mounted on a plaque...blah blah...

Anyhow, here is the poem...

To be in Love

The silver beam of moon light
Pierces through my heart
The twinkling stars send me
Millions of little sparks
The happiness dancing on toes
And sometimes the pearls of tears
I have been collecting
These priceless gifts for years
I bathe myself
In that light divine
My inner being screams
With joy and I shine
The world today seems
How so beautiful I wonder
I never noticed the beauty
How does life bewilder
How wonderful is, I realize
To be in Love
I found it after all
The priceless treasure trove